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"OLD" IS WHEN ... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door."OLD" IS WHEN ... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face."OLD" IS WHEN ... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along."OLD" IS WHEN ... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police."OLD" IS WHEN..."Getting a little action" means you don't need to take any fiber today"OLD" IS WHEN... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot."OLD" IS WHEN ... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to use the bathroom.AND"OLD" IS WHEN ... You are not sure these are jokesThese are compliments of DennisThe North Dakota Department of Labor claimed a small Bismarck farmer was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.Department of Labor employee: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.Farmer: Well, there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week. ."Detective Renner had experienced his share of chills since this statement had begun, but at that last description, he actually shuddered violently. If his coffee cup had been full of hot java, he would have burned himself badly. If he had been disarming a bomb... well, goodbye small town police station.What had shaken him, what had truly shocked him was something he almost didn't notice. She had come very close to pronouncing the word "merchandise" with the ever popular inflection heard in so many gangster flicks."Moichandise."Her tone had almost, but not quite, taken on that of a storyteller with a sick sense of humor, someone who might make a joke about the way a dismembered body looked like Venus de Milo with extra ketchup.Up to this point, he had known, academically at least, that someone who had committed murders into the double-digit range must be profoundly disturbed. Now he thought he was beginning to see some of those deranged qualities emerge, just from her eloquent.
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